Are you perfect? … I didn’t think so. Neither am I, and neither are those who seem to act like they are. Love isn’t about finding someone who is perfect, but about finding the one who is perfect for you.
When a relationship is new, most of us try to be on our best behavior. We hide the fact that we don’t always put the cap back on the toothpaste, and we very rarely make our bed or hang up our clothes in the evening.
After all, we don’t want our potential loved one to think less of us because of some silly little flaws, do we? So we make sure that the house is spotless before they come over for the first time. We do our best to hide anything that might cause a hiccup in our budding relationship.
However, it’s simply not possible to hide those little foibles forever. Sooner or later the skeletons come out of the closet. The imperfections we tried so diligently to keep hidden from one another slip out into the open.
I know of a couple who were engaged and had already set a date for the wedding. There was just one teensy weensy little problem. She was a smoker, and he was not. She had agreed to quit smoking, as this was a non-negotiable stumbling block in their relationship. And she did quit … for a while. But the lure of the nicotine and the comfort of holding a cigarette in her hand after a few drinks became impossible for her to ignore. She did her best to hide her relapse, and was successful for several weeks. However, nothing can stay hidden forever. When the truth came out, her deceit eroded the couple’s trust. You probably know how this particular story ended.
In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with being on your best behavior when first getting to know someone. However, for a long term relationship to work … honesty is a must. What do you do if you learn that the one you think you’re falling in love with has an uncontrollable temper, can’t seem to stop drinking after one or two, barely tolerates your children, or has some other quirk that you find unacceptable? Don’t fool yourself into believing things will get better after you get married or after the two of you have children of your own. They won’t.
Make sure you know all of their flaws, mistakes and weaknesses … and that you have revealed your own. If, in spite of this knowledge, you still find each other amazing … then congratulations! You have found that Perfectly Imperfect Love.
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